got tilt?

so i will admit that for the first time in a long while, i went on tilt.

back to that in a moment.

so i have had losing sessions 3 of the last 4 times out.

one i can chalk up to playing while doped up on the meds i took to go to the dentist. i remember being up like 600. getting called lucky, then leaving with nothing. other than that and going all in with an ass end straight with a paired board and a flush out there as well. funny i won that pot, even when called.

this last time was just bone head stubbornness. donkey supreme. i was playing small ball at Caesars. 500 max 1-3 game. but the players were just right out bad.

why do i do so poorly against inferior opponents?
i win more frequently in the 2-5 game than in the 1-2 games.

the only reason i was playing in the 1-3 game was because i was wanting to build up my roll before i went back to the 2-5.

come to find out (this has taken 2 days to write, picked up again from sun night, now tue 3am) this is a good mathematical way to play. as told to me by katy, from the poker math book she is reading.
i knew this by feel, and turns out to have been the better mathematical decision as well.

i was going to bitch and complain about the inferior players, but after meditating on it for a while i have changed my beliefs.

i just played bad for 4 specific hands. i was emotionally affected. caught up in the moment. and most importantly totally missed a glaring couple of tells.

this mostly stems from the advancements i have made. i am back in a learning stage. i didn't realize it for a while, but i have moved on from the constant solid play with the occasional bluff, to a more aggressive style. not to say i'm playing bad cards, but i am betting higher and more often in situations that are questionable.

i will call this the playing the player, not the cards stage.

i can say i got a little carried away with my own interpretation of myself as an advanced played, but have quickly learned that with each step forward, your balance is easily swayed. much as a little child.

my confidence is still high. one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses.
humility is a tight rope. you must walk a fine line to not be at its mercy.

i am down to my last two grand, and having grown accustomed to the freedom of my new life style, will now stay a small ball player for a while. i will only take 200 with me to play with. i will become a rolling stone. (that is a poker joke that i'm sure not a single one of you will get…a rock is term for a tight solid player, and to gather no moss means to mix it up very occasionally)

i have come back from far more adverse situations than this so don't fear. some day soon, will you all see me on tv

MN