i don't know what it was, but i have become a pussy.
maybe just a bad player.
i don't know what it is, but i can't make a hand to save my life.
and then when i do, i get cut up by draws.
no one calls me when i raise with good cards, and they always call when i'm weak.
i must have some tells that i'm unaware of.
i need a good week, or i'm gonna just give up.
it's far too painful to just get milked down.
maybe i just need my good luck charm. eric. he'll be here sat.
hopefully i can make it that long.
as it is. getting my wisdom tooth pulled on monday will be more enjoyable than my last 4 sessions.
MN
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4 comments:
I'm not sure what to say, but I feel I must say something. Reading this blog breaks my heart. I'm hoping Eric's visit will bring an infusion of whatever it is you need. So, all I can think to say is that when you put yourself out there on a limb, it's scary. You may be over-thinking your actions, I don't know. What I do know is that you have completed and exceeded what you initially set out to do and that is to survive a month. This victory probably doesn't offset the disappointment of not making it big, but it is a victory nonetheless. Also, you're not out yet, in the very last moment it could all turn around. Keep up the faith and know that I love you!
I really, really hope I can bring you some luck along with the inevitable hangover. One thing I do know: if we go to the Craps table together you are bound to win and I am bound to lose. I'll have to put some thought into whether the sacrifice is worth it to give you a jump start.
I agree with Katy. We are sad that you are not winning, but you took a big risk and at least will know you tried. I for one am not counting you out just yet.
In the meantime, ask the oral surgeon for percoset and relax (as much as possible with a hole in your mouth). I don't intend to come out for the Travis going away party / professional poker career wake so chill out, win a couple times this week and get your mind straight.
I'm no expert on poker psychology, but it sounds like you are starting to lose your confidence and that might be generating some tells that you didn't show before hand. If you are still playing against novices at the 1-2 tables it is doubtful that they would even notice your tells in the way that people would notice them at higher stakes tables (I certainly know that I wouldn't). For what it's worth, I'm not counting you out either. As I recall, when Eric and I had to bribe you to come out to Vegas with us (when Eric and I continued on to the MLS cup), you ended up losing about 90% of what we gave you the first night, but then ended up about 100%. What I remember most vividly, however, is that you were COMPLETELY CONFIDENT after that first night that you would be in the black within 24 hours. I thought you were full of shit, but guess what, in 24 hours you were up again. Moral: stay confident and aggressive. Maybe its time to crack out the poncho to give you an extra boost. Good luck and keep your head up.
I love Katy's comment.
If you survive a low point, you're better equipped to handle the next round. I always believed you were well suited for poker because of your aptitude for handling the swings, as Bryan points out from his memory.
Plus, I will sprinkle Eric with magical, good luck-infused fairy dust before he leaves. Just make sure it rubs off on you...hmm, this seems to have taken a turn for the inappropriate.
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