Bad Dream, Dirty Mouth…Clean it up!

i just woke up to from a horrible dream.

i was back, or ernie (eric and annie) and katy were here. either way, we were at an outing of some kind. it switched back from a movie to a play, or a show of some kind.

first it was a movie, then a play, kinda like a snl type thing.
i was sitting in the middle of the row and for some reason it was my obligation to go give the main act their cue to go on stage. they were sleeping in a bed, and i had to pound on the door to wake them up.

none if this makes sense now that i'm trying to translate it to you, but what the basic gist was, that it was implied that eric was cheating with katy (evidently implied by eric's presence in my bed) and i was drunk and annie didn't like that i was being vocal about such outlandish accusations in such a public place. so i called her all the bad names then ernie and katy left the aisle, but some fat old lady put her feet up and wouldn't let me leave the row.

i jumped a row back and bulldozed my way through, then i jumped into every door i could making the biggest scene possible.
i make it outside and ernie is in the back seat of my beater and some strawberry blond is driving my car, so i run and jump on the hood dukes of hazard style and then some how end up on top of the car and then into the window.
i then immediately wake up.

as you can imagine i was a little disturbed.

i then was quickly reminded of my oral diarrhea from a previous entry and how annie is always the loving friend who tries to make me see that such filth is not acceptable. even if at some level i make a valid point that words are just words and only have value because we place value on them.

it's like salt now and a 1000 years ago. it was used as a main currency, (and still is in some parts of the world) but a very small amount was very valuable, but now here you can buy a large amount for a pittance of a price.
supply and demand.

i know fully well that there is no place for that trash at any time.
i just have a deep seeded problem with the pc mentality in this country. everyone is so flipping entitled. no one takes responsibility for their own actions. and they all act like it is the responsibility of society to ensure that they are not offended. and if so, they should be compensated economically for it.

my argument for having unlimited freedom of speech, and that they are only words. the old sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt me. is only my asshole attempt to act at the same level, but on the opposite end of the spectrum.

i knew that wasn't true as a child, being the constant blunt of cool kids' wrath.

but for some reason, i have been able to turn off my emotional weakness for such verbal assaults. using the argument that words have no value as weapons.

but in reality, i think now that i have simply transformed myself into one of the cool kids. how pathetic.

it's like the oldest trick in the book and here i have fallen pray to it like a first grade kid.

i think that on some level that i am correct that we should not place any value on such filth in our language and then it will cease to have the same impact on us.

but i refuse to become the school yard bully and unfortunately for you will no longer be so much of a compost heap.

im sorry-this has nothing to do with poker, unless you can somehow make the connection that poker is an emotional war and that verbal tactics have some place and are necessary for a truly full arsenal.

what ever.

i think all this time alone is making me do a mental reboot of my mental hard drive.
either that or i'm just emotionally insecure and scared.

aaahh, good morning.
i feel much better now that i have expunged.

all readers of this blog should receive a payment, because this is more like me talking to a shrink than anything else.

but you were warned! and you should actually consider this a privilege. when will you ever again get to look into someone's soul so unfiltered ever again?

i have to do some laundry, then i'll get back to work.

the entries can only get better after this!?!

MN

i know that that dream can't come true, because i was wearing a jacket that i donated to good will and the maroon door on my car was on the driver's side in the dream. oh yeah, and neither katy or eric would betray me like that.